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Part 3
A few days after they were weaned was the Jellicle Ball. The four kittens mostly stayed with their parents, but Etcetera and Electra broke free every once and a while to follow me around, grinning their kitten grins. I could imagine how I looked to them. After all, I was adorable.
About half way through the ball, Munkustrap noticed a cat that we'd never seen before. It was a very young tuxedo cat, a little older than Victoria and Etcetera. He was an unusual looking cat, with white socks and white on the tip of his tail, over the basic tuxedo pattern. He wore a small black bow tie around his neck, showing that he was owned.
Munkustrap hissed at him, and herded the tribe to the opposite side of the junkyard. The young tuxedo cat crawled out and looked, confused, at him. Jellylorum held Victoria and Etcetera's hands, but the white kitten looked very interested in this new kitten.
"Who are you?" Munkustrap hissed. The kitten didn't look frightened, more like he was curious about us.
"Are you the Jellicles?" he asked in a soft, kitten-like voice.
"Yes. Who are you?" Munkustrap asked again.
"I came here to find my uncle." He said, looking around. "He is a Jellicle."
"You aren't getting anything until you tell us what your name is."
The kitten looked trapped. He thought for a moment, before shakily answering, "Mistoffelees."
"That's better. What do you want with us?"
"Munkustrap!" Deuteronomy scolded. "You're scaring the poor boy." He looked down at the kitten with a nice smile. "Mistoffelees, who is your uncle?"
"Bustopher Jones. Is he here?"
The rather big cat stepped forward. He looked almost exactly like the kitten, except he was much larger. But both were tuxedo cats.
"I'm here, Mistoffelees." He said. "Where is your mother?"
"I don't need her! I came here on my own, to see you, Bustopher."
"You know I'd go and visit you. You didn't have to come here and try to find me."
"But I wanted to. I want to be in your Jellicle Tribe, uncle Bustopher." The kitten looked, shyly, up at Deuteronomy. "I want to be a Jellicle Cat."
"Well, I see you are owned." Mistoffelees touched his bow tie proudly. "I don't see any problem with you being a Jellicle. Come up here."
The kitten stood fully and walked up to Deuteronomy. He bowed to him, and my father laughed.
"You are very much of a gentleman, Mistoffelees." He told him. "I have a question though."
"What is that?"
"Can you dance?"
Mistoffelees' eyes brightened. "Mother always said I was the best dancer she'd ever seen. She said I was better than the older, more experienced dancers. She says it's because I'm so small."
"Well, can you show us?"
Mistoffelees nodded. "I'd love to."
He walked out into the center of the junkyard. What he did next was truly amazing.
All Jellicles dance, and they dance beautifully. But this young kitten stood out there, by himself, and showed us all something. Most Jellicles, when dancing alone, dance slowly. But he went full at it.
That one tiny kitten took up the entire junkyard, with his twirling, and leaping in the air. He was a very bendable kitten, though all cats are bendable. He could bend in every way you could imagine, and he made it look like it was nothing at all. Keeping one foot on the ground and the other high above his head in a split, he held his arms above his head, bend his back in an arch, and twirled around in that position. He slowly lowered his other foot to the ground, but kept spinning, one leg wrapped around the other. Then, as he spun, he slowly got closer and closer to the ground, until he put his other foot on the ground and slowly stopped spinning. Then, he stood straight and proud, and bowed to Deuteronomy. My father clapped for him, amazed.
"That was truly wonderful, Mistoffelees." He told the young kitten, who was breathing heavily. "You are welcome in our tribe. Munkustrap, my eldest son, shall introduce you to the tribe."
My brother introduced him to all the cats in turn. When Mistoffelees walked by his uncle, Bustopher gave him a confused look. Mistoffelees shook his head slightly, indicating that whatever it was, it wasn't the time. Bustopher just shook his head and walked away.
"This is Victoria." Munkustrap introduced him to the white cat. Mistoffelees took her hand in his and gave it a kiss, like a gentleman. She giggled, and their eyes locked together.
"It's nice to meet you." he said quietly, just so she could hear.
"Yes." She said back. "You too."
The stood there, never looking away from each other. Then, Jellylorum put her hands on Victoria's shoulders and gave Munkustrap a look that said, "Get him out of here!" I understood why. She wasn't too sure about Mistoffelees, and didn't want her daughter to take a liking to him. I knew how she felt. Something about this little tuxedo cat told me that he wasn't telling us everything we should know about him. Munkustrap took him up to me, and the kitten looked, curious, at me.
"This is my brother, Rum Tum Tugger." Munkustrap told him. I sneered at the kitten, and he backed away, frightened. Munkustrap glared at me for scaring him, and led him away.
"The little brat deserved it." I heard a voice say behind me. Spinning around, I saw Bombalurina standing there.
"Huh?" I asked, startled.
"He deserved it. I mean, he comes in here, says he's related to fatso, does a few splits and suddenly he's everyone's favorite? He needs to be taught his place."
"Oh, really?" I smiled and put one hand on her face. "Are you going to help me put him in his place?"
"Oh yes." She purred. Bombalurina had grown to be quite a little romantic. I guess having a daughter who was almost the same age as her, and nearly being seduced had made her grow up much faster than she should have.
I looked over for our new Jellicle. He sat with Deuteronomy, watching the rest of the tribe dance. He couldn't keep his eyes off of Victoria.
"Look at him." she said distastefully. "Staring at that white dame. He doesn't deserve her."
"I can fix that." I told her. I knew that Victoria had a mild crush on me, like all the other dames younger than me. So I knew what to do to make that more than just a mild crush. Once I was done with her, she'd forget all about Mistoffelees.
I walked down to where she was dancing. I grabbed her arm, pulled her close, and kissed her. When I broke away, she nearly fainted from happiness. I glanced over at Mistoffelees and saw his crushed expression. *Out of bounds.* I said silently. *I'll teach you your place in this tribe. And it's not with Victoria.*
To prove my point, I danced with her for a little while. She had the dreamiest smile on her face the whole time, and the other dames watched jealousy. I didn't really know until then that I was such hot stuff. But the looks those other dames were giving Victoria told me everything I needed to know.
After a fast dance, we all laid down to rest. Plato stayed standing, looking around. Deuteronomy had given him the job of helping the dames lose their innocence. That ment that during the resting time of the ball, he would stand up and see if any dame wished it done. If so, there was a special dance that only Plato knew, and only Plato had the right to do, with the dame, and by doing that dance, she lost her innocence. It wasn't mating, but it gave the dame the right to mate freely. Bombalurina was the right age to have it done, but she had already lost her innocence when she and Munkustrap had mated at the pound. So she didn't have to do it.
Plato was about to lay down, seeing no dame wanted it, but then Tantomile stood up. Her twin brother, Coricopat, gave her a worried look, not wanting her to do the dance yet. She smiled at him, telling him that it was alright, it was her time.
Plato and Tantomile rubbed their faces together, and he ran his hands down her body. Then, he picked her up, and held her upside-down over his head. Her upper body hung limply behind him, and she did a split above his head. He slowly turned in a circle, showing everyone that she was becoming an adult. Then, he slowly lowered her down. He pulled her forward so she wasn't upside-down anymore, and she rubbed faces with Coricopat. Then, Plato gently laid her on the ground, and the two curled up together with their arms around each other. Very few Toms had the strength to do the dance, for they had to hold the dame over their head for most of the dance. But Plato could do it.
Once we were rested enough to continue, the ball went on. Tantomile and Coricopat danced in sync with each other, as usual, but I could tell that he wasn't pleased by what she had done.
Mistoffelees caught on to the dancing very quickly, and could do it all, better than we could. At the end, Deuteronomy chose Lillabelle, Gus' mate, to go up to the Heaviside Layer to be reborn. Gus wasn't there to say goodbye to her, for he had gotten too old to come to every ball.
Once we were leaving the junkyard, I heard, mostly by mistake, a conversation that explained quite a lot to me.
"Quaxo, you lied to them."
"I know I did, Bustopher. But they'd hate me if they knew who I really was."
I crept closer and saw, to my surprise, Mistoffelees and Bustopher Jones standing alone. Bustopher looked angry with him.
"You could have at least told them your real name." Bustopher said.
"Mistoffelees is my real name."
"No. Mistoffelees is you last name. Why didn't you tell them that? We both know that your first name is Quaxo. Why didn't you tell them that?"
"I'm not Quaxo anymore, Bustopher. I'm no longer Quaxo Mistoffelees. I'm no longer Mr. Mistoffelees. Now, I'm just Mistoffelees."
"Well, what's with the costume? Why didn't you show them what you really look like?"
"Because if I had, they'd have known my secret the moment they saw me. I had to make myself look different. This way, they accept me."
Bustopher shook his head. "You can call yourself whatever you want, and you can pretend you look like whatever you want, but you'll always be Quaxo to me."
"Please, Bustopher, don't tell them that my name is Quaxo. I hate that name. I want them to think my name is Mistoffelees."
Bustopher sighed. "Alright. I'll keep your secrets. But I'm not happy with it. And I know your mother would hate knowing that her son shames the name she gave him."
Bustopher Jones left, leaving the kitten alone in the junkyard. *That little liar!* I thought in outrage. *Well, he'll soon learn how well liars are accepted into our tribe.* I stalked out and he cried out in surprise.
"Tugger!" he stuttered. "What are you doing here?"
"I want some answers, kid, and I want them now." I demanded.
"What do you mean?"
"I heard your conversation."
If he had been human, he would have gone pale. "You…you heard?" he asked in a small voice.
"Yes I heard. So, do you mind explaining?"
He sighed. Then, he waved one hand over his head, and suddenly, he looked different! Well, he was still a tuxedo cat, but it was a real change.
He didn't have the white socks anymore, or the white on the tip of his tail. His fur was pure black, except the white on his chest and face. His black fur was so clean, it shined in the moonlight.
"I am a conjurer." He told me. "My full name is Quaxo Mistoffelees. I didn't come here to be with my uncle. I came here to find my father. He left me before my eyes opened, and I must find him."
"Why did you lie to us?"
"I didn't think you'd trust a conjurer, especially after Macavity. So I made that costume. I dropped the Quaxo from my name, simply to be called Mistoffelees. I hate that name, Quaxo. It doesn't sound like the name of a conjurer at all."
I shook my head. "I was really starting to dislike you, Mistoffelees."
He looked confused. "I thought you'd hate me. I mean, the cat who's been terrorizing your tribe is a conjurer."
"But he's just one conjurer."
"Please, Tugger, don't tell anyone. I couldn't bear to know that I was different than the other cats. I've been teased terribly, just because of my magic. Please, Tugger, keep this to ourselves. My name is Mistoffelees." He changed back to what he had originally looked like. "I look like this. And I have no powers."
I smiled. "Right. Whatever you say, Mistoffelees."
"I have a nice little corner of the forest to live." He said. "It's great, but it's right on the boarder of Persian territory."
"Wait a minute." I pointed to his bow tie. "Aren't you owned?"
He shook his head. "No. I made this bow tie so that the cat catchers would think I was owned, and wouldn't catch me. But I've never been owned."
"You will take some getting used to."
"I know."
* * *
About a month after the Jellicle Ball, I was visiting Deuteronomy. Suddenly, Pouncival walked in, three cats in tow.
"Deuteronomy." He announced. "May I present, the Lady Cassandra, her sister Exotica, and her mate, Alonzo."
I had to laugh. Pouncival was a little extreme at times. Cassandra was a foxy dame, a Havana brown. Her sister, Exotica, was also a Havana brown, though slightly darker brown. With them was a tough-looking black and white mix, who was holding hands with Cassandra. That must be her mate, Alonzo. He glared at Pouncival, and the black tabby glared right back.
"Why, hello." Deuteronomy greeted them. Cassandra nodded her head at him. "Do you wish to be Jellicles?"
"Yes." She told him. Her eyes drifted towards me, and I gave her my knockout smile. Alonzo glared at me. I could tell that he was a protective boyfriend, and would tolerate no one messing around with his girl.
"You have light points, like a Siamese." Deuteronomy told Cassandra. "I've never seen a Havana with points before."
"My mother? she looked over at Exotica. "…our mother, was a Siamese. Exotica didn't take her markings, but I have them, lightly. I am a Havana brown, though. I am not a Siamese."
"Well, I see no reason why you shouldn't become Jellicles." He looked over at Alonzo. "How old are you?"
"Two years." He said. I could tell by his voice that he thought he was hot stuff. Well, maybe he had been where he had come from. But this was a whole new part of the forest. In this tribe, I was the ladies cat. He could wallow at my feet.
"You are the same age of my two eldest sons." Deuteronomy told him. He pointed to me. "Rum Tum Tugger, is the younger of the two."
Alonzo made a face that said, "it shows". I returned that look with one of my own that said, "back off, newcomer. This is my territory."
While her boyfriend was giving me nasty looks, Cassandra looked impressed. My mane had finally reached it's full length, so I looked great. Exotica didn't look interested, to my disappointment. I'd have to work extra hard for her attention.
I could see Pouncival already had a crush on Cassandra. I didn't blame him. She was a very foxy dame, not as sexy as Bombalurina, but almost. Alonzo may have been an idiot, but he had a reason to be protective over his mate. Every Tom Cat in the tribe was going to go after her.
I left a moment later, getting tired of exchanging hate-looks with Alonzo. I slowly started to walk to my home, not wanting to get there fast, but going that general direction. Suddenly, I heard a voice in the bushes.
"Hello?"
I turned to see the strangest cat I've ever seen. She was brownish, grayish, blackish in color, and her ears and tail were twice as big as they should have been. Her tail dragged the ground, it was so long. She gave me the look every dame gives me nowadays.
"Hi." I said coolly. "And who are you?"
"My name is Ambent." She told me. "My humans are visiting friends here for a few weeks, and are leaving in three days. I live in Liverpool."
"Ah." I gave her a strange look. "Not to sound stupid or anything, but what are you?"
She laughed. "A Devon Rex." She looked me up and down, and slowly walked up to me so she could touch my mane. She gave me a sexy smile.
"You are very handsome." She purred to me. "I don't suppose we could go out together sometime before I leave?"
I gave her my knockout smile, and held her hand. "It would be my pleasure. I can take you out to the harbor tonight, if that pleases you."
"It would be great."
"Alright then. Where are you staying?"
She pointed East. "That direction, not far. Meet me there at dusk."
As she started to walk away, she spun around.
"Oh!" she exclaimed. "I'm not one to brag, but I must tell my friends at Liverpool about you. I didn't catch your name."
I just kept smiling. "Tell them you went on a date with The Rum Tum Tugger."
And that is how I got my title.
After we separated, I went to the junkyard where the Jellicle Ball is held. I could see Mistoffelees standing there, with Etcetera, Electra, Jemima, and Victoria all kneeling at his feet, watching him with great interest. As I watched, he did a few of the steps he had done when he had danced solo for us. Apparently the four kittens had asked for a dancing lesson.
*I'll show him.* I thought. *You don't get far in the tribe only being able to dance. You need looks.*
I walked into the junkyard, and Etcetera squealed with delight. A moment later, all four of the kittens had run up to me, running their hands through my mane, and swatting at my tail. I carefully avoided Mistoffelees' piercing gaze. Instead, I whispered to Etcetera, who had her hands on my shoulders.
"Hey." I whispered in her ear. "You, me, at the harbor, tomorrow night. Be there."
She nearly fainted. None of the other girls had heard what I had said, but she was bursting with happiness.
"Hey, little kitties." A sexy voice said. Bombalurina walked up. "Step aside. I'll show you how to get the boy's attention."
She shoed the kittens away, grabbed my mane in her hands, pulled me closer to her, and kissed me! The kittens gasped as we stood together for a moment, then she let me go.
"Now that? she told them. "…is how you treat a Tom Cat."
She walked away as quickly as she had come, and the kittens were all over me again.
"Kisses!" they cried. "We want kisses too!"
"Hey, girls, all in time." I told them. "You'll all get kisses, I can guarantee it. Just wait for the day when you get asked on a date with me. It'll happen. Don't worry. Weren't you guys in the middle of a dance class?"
"Oh, we want to stay with you, Tugger!" Electra exclaimed. I laughed and pushed them away gently.
"I have to go home." I told them. "The monster will be crying for me. I'm needed elsewhere."
The kittens all made their protests, but I soon left. As I walked off, I gave Mistoffelees a superior look, as he looked at me with a look I couldn't read.
* * *
That afternoon was the trial of Alonzo. I had no clue what it was for, but apparently he did something wrong, because he stood in the middle of the cave, head down, just like Macavity had done at his trial. The tribe went to the cave to watch, but I noticed Jellylorum looking around frantically for her daughters. Jennyanydots was too looking for Jemima.
As I walked in, I saw that Pouncival was sitting with Deuteronomy. He had his face hidden in his hands, but I could guess that this trial had something to do with him. I was right.
Deuteronomy looked around, confused. "Where are Victoria, Etcetera, Electra, and Jemima?"
"They were with Mistoffelees in the city." I told him. Jellylorum gasped and started crying. She didn't trust the tuxedo cat, and immediately figured that he had done something to the four girls.
"Well, we'll deal with Mistoffelees later." Deuteronomy told us. "This trial is for Alonzo. Now, he was just made a Jellicle earlier today. Most of you don't know him yet. But he had already broken a rule."
Alonzo did not look like he felt guilty. Cassandra and Exotica sat off to the side, worried about their friend.
"Now, Alonzo, do you know what you have done?" Deuteronomy asked him quietly.
"I don't think it was wrong." He said angrily. "He deserved it."
"Alonzo, our tribe doesn't work that way. You can't do that."
Alonzo pointed at Pouncival, who still had his face hidden. "It was all his fault!"
Deuteronomy shook his head. Then, he looked over at Pouncival.
"Pouncival." He said. "Show them your face."
The black tabby slowly moved his hands, and the tribe gasped in horror. There was a long gash across Pouncival's face, which went under his left eye and across his nose. His fur was matted and damp from blood and his tears.
"Alonzo, I know every cat fights." Deuteronomy told him. "When I was young, I used to fight also. But you nearly blinded him."
Alonzo looked very distressed. "He was trying to seduce my mate!" he screamed in fury.
"No." Pouncival said quietly. "I was just trying to make friends with her. It got slightly out of hand."
"Can I ask a question?" Alonzo asked.
"Go ahead." Deuteronomy told him.
"Does Pouncival have a mate? Or a girlfriend?"
"Yes. Bombalurina is his girlfriend."
Alonzo looked around at the tribe. "Who is Bombalurina?"
She stood up. "I am."
"Your boyfriend was cheating on you today." He told her. "He was literately on top of my mate. What do you think about that?"
She glared at Pouncival. "I think that we are no longer an item. In fact, I think I never want to see your cheating, scarred up face again."
Bombalurina left, dragging Demeter along behind her. Tears streamed down Pouncival's face, as the trial kept going.
I left early, after all, I had a date with that Devon Rex. I didn't want to miss that.
I met her in front of the place she was staying.
"Hey, Ambent." I called to her. She smiled.
"Hello, Rum Tum Tugger."
I put one arm around her. "Please, call me Tugger. It's so much easier."
"Alright, Tugger it is. So, where are we going?"
"There's a fireworks show at the harbor tonight. Wanna go there?"
"Sure."
We went to the harbor, and she couldn't take her eyes off of me. I couldn't blame her. After all, she had a date with the hottest Tom Cat in London.
We stayed at the harbor until midnight, then I took her home. It wasn't until we were right outside of her place that we started to make a real scene.
We had just started to really get into it, when a light went on in the house.
"Lilly?" A human voice said. "Lilly? Where are you?"
I paid no attention to the human, and kept doing what I was doing. Then, the human stepped outside.
"What the? he gasped. "Stupid cat! Get off of her!"
The human stalked up and picked me up by the scruff of the neck. He fiddled with my collar, looking for my license so he could figure out where I lived. Then, he picked Ambent up by the scruff of her neck, and started to carry us to my house.
"Oh, I am in some big trouble." I moaned. "Wonder what they're gonna do to me?"
"It can't be that bad." She told me. "What's the worst a human can do?"
I didn't want to think about it. A moment later, we had arrived at my house. The human put Ambent down and told her to stay there. She obeyed, at he knocked on the door.
A moment later, the woman came out.
"Is this your cat?" the man asked angrily.
"Why, yes!" she was surprised. "What's wrong?"
"He was screwing my kitten!" He literately threw me at her. "Here! He's your monster!"
She took me from him. "So sorry, sir. We'll have to go get him fixed."
*No!!!!* I cried out in my head. *You can't fix me! I'm the ladies cat! You can't take away my manhood!*
"Yes, you do that." The man told her. "Lilly just better not end up with kittens."
He picked up Ambent and carried her away, and that was the last I saw of her. The woman just closed the door and shook her head.
"Shame on you, Spike." She scolded. "You sick cat. I'll make an appointment with the vet to get you fixed."
*Well, there's the end of my life.* I thought. *Just take away my title as the cool-cat. Just take my pride!*
She put me down and went back to her room to sleep.
The next day, I had expected to have PFM. It's something us Tom Cats go through. It's actually short for "Pain of First Mating". Every male cat gets it the day after they get it on for the first time. So I really expected the pain.
It never came. I had heard about certain males that never got it. But it was very rare. Oh well, I was glad I didn't get it. From what I've heard, it's the second most painful thing a male cat can go through. The first is getting kicked in the groin.
I left the house before the humans woke up, so that I could get out. I went right to where Mistoffelees was living. I wanted to know what had happened last evening, because he and the four female kittens had never showed up. I had a feeling he had something to do with it.
I was not nice with him. I was mad for many reasons, and was going to take it out on him. So I was not nice.
I walked up behind him, put one arm around his neck, and started to choke him. He grabbed my arm and started gasping for air.
"What happened last night?" I hissed to him. He kept gasping and clawing at my arm.
"Stop it!" he gasped voicelessly. "Let go!"
I pulled my arm tighter around his neck, and he couldn't breathe at all. His eyes rolled back in his head, and his fighting got weaker.
"What happened?" I demanded. "Tell me, Quaxo."
Suddenly, a volt of electricity went through my body! I screamed in pain, and let him go. The moment I let him go, the pain stopped. He fell to his knees, both hands around his neck, breathing in short, quick gasps.
"Don't. Call. Me. Quaxo." He gasped. "I don't want to use my magic against you. Don't make me do that again."
"You were with those four kittens." I accused. "They never showed up for the trial yesterday. Neither did you."
"I know. I tried to stop them, but it was too late. They took her."
"Who?"
"The cat catchers! The humans with the nets! They took Victoria! I got the other three away, but they took her."
It took me a minute to catch on to that. "They took Victoria?"
"Yes!"
"Why didn't you use your magic?!" I practically screamed.
"I was taught never to use my powers in front of humans. I can't let them catch me. I'm too valuable."
"What happened to the other three?"
"I took them home, one by one. Jellylorum hates me. She thinks I did something to Victoria."
"Well, nobody knows you."
He was trying not to start crying. "They better not do anything to her."
"Hey." I knelt down and pointed to my collar. "The same thing happened to me when I was her age. I was careless, and the humans caught me. They didn't do anything bad to me. They sold me to humans as a housecat for the rest of my life, but they didn't harm me."
"I've heard that if a human doesn't buy you, the cat catchers will kill you."
"They won't kill her. She's so sweet, I know for a fact that some lucky human is going to take her home."
I stayed and comforted him for a moment, before leaving. *He's not that bad for a liar.* I thought. *So what if he has secrets? He's a pretty cool little Tom Cat.*
That night I had my date with Etcetera. She practically leaped into my arms the moment she saw me.
"Oh Tugger!" she exclaimed. "Where are we going tonight?"
"Where do you want to go?" I purred to her.
"Lover's Oak."
I shook my head. "That's one spot that's out-of-bounds with my dates. I'll take you to the harbor."
We went on our date, and went fully into it, just like on my date with Ambent, except we weren't interrupted. When we separated in the forest, she had a smile that was a mile long, and happiness in her eyes.
The next day, Munkustrap gave us some good news. Apparently his owners had gone to the pound to get him some food, and hadn't been able to resist Victoria. So now Munkustrap had a roommate. She wasn't allowed out of the house for a week, but at least we knew she was safe now.
Bombalurina insisted on a date with me, so I obliged and we went to the harbor. She, too, wanted to go to Lover's Oak, but I explained to her that I don't go there with any old date. She was much more stubborn than Etcetera, but I got my way in the end.
Alonzo apparently didn't get into too much trouble for his fight with Pouncival. It's a shame, really. I would have loved to see the look on his face when he's expelled from the tribe. Of course, he might have turned evil like Macavity had done when he was expelled.
Part 4
I got a little bit of news on Macavity. Apparently he lived in a large cave somewhere in the land of the Forest Cats. No one knew where it was. He had forced all the female cats who had worked for his father out of the cave, saying that he only wanted male workers.
I remember seeing Mungojerrie in his front yard, a dreamy look on his face.
"Hey, airhead." I spoke up, bringing him back to Earth. "Wake up."
"Oh, hi Tugger." He said, not very interested.
"Well, what happened?"
"What do you mean?"
"That look on your face tells me that something happened. And from that dreamy smile, it was something good."
His grin got wider. "Oh yes. Very good."
"Well, do tell."
"My owners just bought the most beautiful dame in the world! The moment I laid eyes on her, I fell in love!"
"What's her name?"
"Rumpelteaser."
I laughed. "Her name doesn't express her beauty. When can I meet her?"
He gave me a stern look. "Oh no you don't. She's my girl, Tugger. She may not like me yet, but don't you go taking her away before I can get my paws on her. You have every other dame in the tribe. Leave Rumpelteaser alone."
"Well, I won't try to pick up on her, but I can't help it if she comes running to me. She in the house?"
"Yeah. Isn't allowed outside yet."
Suddenly I heard a CRASH!
"HORRIBLE CAT!"
I heard a loud giggle, and a small dame ran from the house as fast as she could. She was a tiger tabby, just like Mungojerrie, and they looked almost exactly alike.
"What did you do?" Mungojerrie asked, trying not to laugh.
"Got into the birthday cake." Just then, she noticed me. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped.
"Why, look at you!" she exclaimed. "Have I died and gone to Heaviside?"
Mungojerrie sighed. "No. This is my friend, Rum Tum Tugger."
Her eyes scanned me. "Aren't you just as handsome as can be. Bet you don't have a hard time getting a date."
"Oh, no miss." I looked her up and down and gave her my smile. "But I am available at the moment."
Mungojerrie glared at me. Rumpelteaser was delighted.
"Well, we may just have to go out some night." She told me.
"Maybe."
Just then, a rather large human stalked out onto the front porch.
"Hey!" she yelled. "That Tom Cat's back!"
"Uh oh." I muttered. "Busted. I gotta go."
The human started to throw rocks at me. "Get out of here! Horrible Tom Cat! Keep your filthy paws away from my new kitten!"
I turned and ran off, as Rumpelteaser looked after me with a smile.
The moment I got home, I knew something had happened, and I wasn't going to like it.
"Spike!" The woman (I found out her name was Claire) said cheerfully as I walked into the door. "What a little treat?"
That was a little too nice from Claire. She was up to something.
"Come here, Spike." She said nicely. "Come have a treat."
I hesitated, before slowly walking up to her. She picked me up gently and started to pet me.
As she petted me, she walked into the living room. And then I saw the reason for the kindness.
The cat carrier.
"No!" I cried, but all she heard was, "meow!" I started to struggle, and she shoved me into the carrier.
"We're just going to take a little trip, Spike." She told me.
Fifteen minutes of torture in the car later, we pulled up at the vet's office. That's when I got really scared. She had said that she was going to fix me. Could she be carrying out that threat?
"Mrs. Partridge?" A man in a white uniform greeted her.
"Yes." Claire told him.
"Right on time. If you'll follow me, I'll take you to the operating room."
Now you have to understand that this was starting to be a living nightmare for me. To take away a Tom's manhood is just cruel.
A new human walked up. "What's this?"
"This is Mrs. Partridge with Spike. He's getting neutered."
*Oh god no.* I thought, dreading what was coming. *They're really going to do this to me.*
The first human took the cage from Claire. "If you would wait outside, Ms, we'll have him back to you as soon as we're done."
She nodded and walked away. The human took me out of the carrier, and put me on a shinny table.
"No!" I cried. The human's understood nothing.
"It's alright, Spike. This may sting a little, though."
I felt a sharp prick of a needle in my back. Suddenly, I felt very sleepy. I knew I couldn't fall asleep, I had to stay awake and try to stop them. But I was so tired!
My eyes drooped and I lay on my side. I faintly felt the human pull my legs apart, before falling unconscious.
I awoke feeling like I had slept too long. When I looked around I realized I was back in the car.
*A dream?* I thought groggily. *Was it all a dream?*
I started to stand up, but I felt a soreness between my legs. *Oh no.* I though. I looked down and cried out in surprise. They had fixed me! Those stupid humans had actually fixed me!
I nearly fainted. Shakily I sat down. *I'm doomed.* I thought. *No one's going to like me anymore. No more ladies cat.*
Then, it dawned on me. *Mistoffelees! He's got magic! He can undo this!*
I waited very impatiently for us to pull up to the house. The moment she let me out of that carrier, I was out the door.
"Wait!" Claire cried. "Spike, come back! You aren't allowed outside for a few days!"
I ignored her and ran into the forest. "Mistoffelees!" I yelled. "Mistoffelees!"
A moment later, he appeared out of thin air! "Don't do that again, Tugger." He said sternly. "Don't. I only came because you sounded so distressed."
"You have to help me!" I cried. "The humans! They fixed me!"
"They what?"
"They fixed me!"
He started cracking up laughing. I gave him a nasty look.
"This is hardly a laughing matter." I told him. "I need you to undo it."
"I can't." he told me. "It's not magically possible."
"No! You have to undo it!"
"I'm sorry, Tugger. I can't."
I collapsed to the ground, and started to do something I rarely do. I started to cry. Mistoffelees knelt down beside me.
"I won't tell anyone." He told me. "I swear, I won't tell. No one will ever know."
"Thanks." I wiped away my tears. "For me, life without the dames isn't life. I mean, everyone loves Munkustrap because he's the older. I have to be attractive to get any attention at all. I guess I thought that this made me less manly."
"Hey, I've known many good Tom Cats who've been fixed. It doesn't take away your manhood. It just makes it so you can't have kittens. Look at it this way: now you can go out with any dame you want, and not have to worry about having kittens. And no one will know, because I'm not going to tell."
"If you tell, I'll tell them your secrets."
"That's not fair! I have more secrets than you!"
"Alright, I'll tell you another one, to make things fair." I looked around to make sure no one was listening. "My family name is Spike."
"What?"
"My family name is Spike! Now you know my two secrets, and I know your secrets. You tell, I tell, and vice versa."
"Deal."
* * *
Many dates later was the Jellicle Ball. I didn't come out at first. I stayed back and watched them.
*Why are they singing about that darn Gumbie Cat?* I thought to myself. *She's no one special!*
My airhead brother Munkustrap was singing about Jennyanydots. I personally saw no reason in it whatsoever. I mean, she's a Gumbie Cat. She sits around all day. So what?
A while into that song, I decided to make my appearance. If they can sing about that lazy dame, they can sing about me. I'm much more interesting.
The moment I interrupted the song, it became clear to me that the dames of the tribe had been busy this last year. They had made up their own song for me.
"The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat!" they sang. It wasn't a bad description. I decided that now would be the perfect time to strut my stuff, and I did.
Certain parts of the song, they left blank, and I got to sing. The dames followed me around the whole time, singing about me.
"The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat! And there isn't any need for me to spout it! For he will do as he do do,"
"And," I said, deciding to end the song. "There's no doing anything about?
The dames who were kneeling at my feet started to scream! They calmed down after a moment, and I tried again to finish the song.
"About?
Again, they started screaming! When they were done, I tried again to finish.
"About?
Etcetera was the only one who screamed that time. I figured she'd stop, but she just kept screaming. I got bored with it and silenced her by putting one hand over her mouth.
"About it!" I finally finished. Etcetera fainted, and the other dames all reached out to touch me. I walked away, teasing them, and they just kept running after me.
I had run up to stand on the hood of a car, the dames on the ground reaching for me. Suddenly, I saw an old, ragged dame limping out of the shadows. She had a smile on her face, her eyes never leaving me.
I said something rude and stalked off, angry because she had interrupted my song. Her smile faded, apparently she had come out to get a better look at me. Munkustrap held the kittens away from her as they looked at her curiously. She wasn't part of our tribe, and wasn't welcome to it.
"Remark the cat who hesitates towards you? she hissed to Munkustrap. "…in the light of the door which opens on her like a grin."
Jellylorum stepped towards her, Etcetera and Victoria at her heals. The old dame turned, angrily.
"You see the boarder of her coat is torn and stained with sand!" she hissed at Jellylorum, who herded her daughters away. The old cat turned to see Cassandra smirking at her.
"And you see the corner of her eye twist like a crooked pin!" she hissed to Cassandra. The Havana gave Munkustrap an unimpressed look, before going to stand with Alonzo.
The old dame started to walk off, smirking, when Demeter walked forward.
"She haunted many a low resort." Demeter told us. The old cat stopped to listen. "Near the grimy road of Todenam Court. She flitted about the no-mans land, from The Rising Sun, to The Friend At Hand, and the postman sighed as he scratched his head. 'You'd really have thought she'd ought to be dead.' And who would ever suppose that that was Grizabella: The Glamour Cat?"
The old dame cringed at her name.
"Grizabella: The Glamour Cat." Bombalurina came to stand by her daughter. "Grizabella: The Glamour Cat! Who'd have ever supposed that that was Grizabella: The Glamour Cat?"
Grizabella limped out of the junkyard, trying not to cry. Demeter ran after her to make sure she was gone, as Mistoffelees greeted his uncle, who had just stepped out.
Jennyanydots sang a song about Bustopher Jones, another cat I see no point in singing about. He's just a fat cat.
They were well into that song, when we heard a CRASH! Bustopher ran off, frightened, as the other Jellicles looked around for trouble.
"Macavity!" Demeter hissed. Everyone left the junkyard, knowing he was lurking around. Munkustrap left last, making sure no one was left there with the demon.
A moment later, I heard a familiar giggle. Someone shushed it, and then two tiger tabbies crept out. It was Mungojerrie and Rumpelteaser.
They sang their own song, about themselves and the crimes they commit at their home. I wondered why they would come out after Macavity had been spotted. But with those two, you'll never know.
After a while, the rest of the tribe ran out, surprising the duo. I stayed in my corner, watching the whole thing, mostly because I knew that I would get no peace if I stepped back out there.
After Mungojerrie and Rumpelteaser had been scolded, Mistoffelees broke away from the crowd, sniffing the air. A smile crept onto his face, and I heard him whisper,
"Old Deuteronomy?"
Tantomile and Coricopat, the twins, also broke away. They confirmed his thoughts.
"I believe it is Old Deuteronomy!" they said together. Every cat got to the ground to clean themselves, making themselves presentable for the leader. Mistoffelees ran off to help him the last few steps of his journey.
I walked out to stand on a drainpipe, as Munkustrap told the tribe about Deuteronomy.
"Old Deuteronomy's lived a long time. He's a cat who has lived many lives in succession. He was famous in proverb, and famous in rhyme, a long while before Queen Victoria's accession."
I decided that because I was his second oldest son, I could tell about him too.
"Old Deuteronomy's buried nine wives." I said from my corner. Munkustrap walked up to me to listen to what I had to say.
"And more, I am tempted to say, ninety-nine. And his numerous progeny prospers and thrives, and the village is proud of him in his decline."
"At the sight of that placid and bland physiognomy," Munkustrap took over. "When he sits in the sun on the vicarage wall, the oldest inhabitant croaks - 'Well of all things, can it be really? No, yes, ho hi, oh my eye! My mind may be wondering but I confess, I believe it is Old Deuteronomy!"
The tribe grouped together in the center of the junkyard, except for me, I stayed in the corner. Just then, Mistoffelees approached, in the company of Deuteronomy.
Our great leader walked into the junkyard, and every cat ran up to him, touching him, and greeting him. He looked up at me, an amused look on his face. With a smile, I bowed to him, showing him that I too respected him. His smile grew wider, as he walked up to sit on the old tire where he always sits for the ball. Munkustrap turned to address the whole tribe.
"Jellicle Cats meet once a year, on the night we make the Jellicle Choice!" he told them. "And now that the Jellicle Leader is here, Jellicle Cats can all rejoice!"
All my fellow cats mingled amongst each other, and I knew what was going to happen. Each year, Munkustrap would tell a story to Deuteronomy, and the rest of the tribe would act it out, as a play. Each year it was different.
"Of the awful battle of the Pekes and the Pollicles!" Munkustrap said so the whole tribe knew what story he was telling. "Together with some account of the participation of the Pugs and the Poms, and the intervention of the great Rumpuscat!"
All the dames went to one side of the junkyard and the Toms went to the other, and Munkustrap stood in the middle and started the story.
It was a well-known story about when the four dog tribes, the Pekes, Pollicles, Pugs, and Poms, had met together in the park, and fought a great battle. They would have gone on until every dog was dead, but then the great Rumpuscat had scared them off. I never did believe in Rumpuscat. He's just a fairy tale that mother cats tell to their kittens.
The dames were pretending to be the Pekes, and the Toms were the Pollicles. They did good dog impressions, barking ceaselessly at each other until even Munkustrap was irritated.
I decided to make my mark in the story. He was telling about the Scottish Pollicles, and I had the perfect plan.
The Toms had just marched out playing their part and speaking in sync. "There are dogs out of every nation, the Irish, the Welsh, and the Dane. The Russian, the Dutch, the Dalmatian, and even from China and Spain the Poodle, the Pom, the Alsatian, and the mastiff who walks on a chain. And to those that are frisky and frollical, let my meaning be perfectly plain: that my name, it is Little Tom Pollicle, and you'd better not do it again!"
That's about when I made my appearance. I ran out toting a homemade bagpipe, and playing it as well as I could. The dames ran up to me, but Munkustrap pushed them away, as I walked off again. It was a good touch to the story, and it sure made Deuteronomy laugh.
Admetus got to play the part of Rumpuscat. He'd always been a big believer of him, so he was delighted.
After Admetus had chased all the "dogs" away, everyone came back and praised him.
"All hail and all bow to the great Rumpuscat!"
Everyone knelt at Deuteronomy's feet again, as I stood off to the side to watch. Our leader started to tell them about Pollicles and Jellicles, when another CRASH! was heard.
"Macavity!" Demeter hissed again. All the Jellicles, except Munkustrap, Deuteronomy, and Mistoffelees, ran off. Munkustrap stayed to guard Deuteronomy, because he couldn't run off that fast. Mistoffelees stayed so he could hide behind Deuteronomy. The leader soon shoed him off, and the tuxedo cat ran into the shadows.
Victoria and Jemima ran back out to stand before Deuteronomy. They started to sing, as Alonzo watched from the shadows.
"Jellicle Cats come out tonight, Jellicle Cats come one, come all. The Jellicle Moon is shining bright, Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball."
Alonzo strutted out. "Jellicle Cats are black and white. Jellicle Cats are rather small. Jellicle Cats are merry!"
"And bright!" Pouncival ran up to add. Slowly, each cat came back to sing a line of the song, which started the actual Jellicle Ball. The ball is a long, fast dance that every cat participates in, even me.
We had all crawled to the ground to rest, and Plato stayed standing, looking for any dame who stood up. Surprisingly, it was Victoria who stood.
Plato did the ritual dance with her, and they lay down to rest. Suddenly, Tantomile and Coricopat leaped up!
Mistoffelees soon followed them, as if sensing something. Skimbleshanks also jumped up, sniffing the air. Soon, we were all up. Something was wrong.
Mistoffelees figured it out. He spun around and pointed off into the shadows. There, watching us the whole time, was old Grizabella!
Alonzo chased her off, as the rest of us started to do another fast dance. This one was mostly to show her that to be a Jellicle, you must be able to dance well.
We soon stopped, for we were still tired from our last dance. Then, Grizabella had the nerve to show up again!
I strutted past her, and her eyes followed me. I didn't need to see her. I was tired, and she just made me mad by interrupting our celebration.
As I left, I heard Jellylorum speaking to Victoria.
"You see the boarder of her coat is torn and stained with sand." She told her daughter, then pulled her away. Jemima stepped forward, as Jennyanydots watched carefully.
"And you see the corner of her eye twist like a crooked pin." As soon as the words were out of Jemima's mouth, her mother had herded her away too. Grizabella was left alone, with Deuteronomy watching her from his seat.
She started to dance, to show us that she could, but failed. Her old limbs wouldn't work fast enough to make the dance go smoothly. That was the last I saw or heard.
When I came back a long while later, every cat was back, and I could see Jellylorum leading her father, old Gus, out of the junkyard. Apparently she had sung a song about him.
After they left, the tribe sang a song about Skimbleshanks. I understood slightly why they would sing about him. He is the Railway Cat.
He ended up singing his own song about himself, and I sat up by the old clock and watched in amusement.
Far into the song, another loud CRASH! I felt someone shove me over from behind, and I fell onto the old car. When I looked up, the cold blue eyes of a ginger cat glared back at me.
The ginger started to laugh at what he had done, his laugh wicked and full of hatred. I got to my feet and ran out of the junkyard, just as Demeter announced his arrival.
"Macavity!" she cried. He laughed again, and I heard the screams of my tribe.
I stayed out of the junkyard while Macavity was there. Soon, I saw three of his black henchmen running off, dragging something along with them. It looked like it was a cat that they had tied in a net. Looking closer, I realized it was Deuteronomy! They were kidnapping him!
I didn't go back to the junkyard until I saw a flash of lightning and Macavity leave, limping. Then, I slowly made my way back.
"Macavity's not there!" they were saying as I came to lie in a pile of junk. The junkyard had gotten darker, Macavity had used his magic to put out the lights so he could make his escape.
"We have to find Old Deuteronomy!" my tribe cried in one desperate cry. And suddenly, I got an idea.
Alright, I knew it was stupid. I knew that he'd probably use his powers against me when this was all done. But hey, this was an emergency.
"You ought to ask Magical Mr. Mistoffelees." I told them, after I had seen that the tuxedo cat wasn't there. "The original Conjuring Cat. There can be no doubt about that."
Pouncival shined a bright light in my face, and they all gave me looks of doubt.
"Please listen to me." I told them. "And don't scoff. All his inventions are off his own bat. There's no such cat in the metropolis, he holds all the patent monopolies for performing surprising illusions, and creating eccentric confusions.
"The greatest magicians have something to learn from Mr. Mistoffelees' Conjuring Turn! And we all say: oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?"
I jumped down and told them everything I knew about Mistoffelees, the conjurer. I didn't say a word about his real name or what he really looked like. But I told them that he was a conjurer, one of his big secrets.
A moment later, to my surprise, the tuxedo cat actually appeared! He appeared, and he looked like he really looked, with the super shiny black fur and without the white socks.
He took one look around the junkyard, and knew what was wrong. Immediately, he reinstated the lights, which gave the tribe a really good look at him.
As I kept singing, Mistoffelees gave me a nasty look. But he said nothing, just went with what I was saying about him.
Soon, he got his chance to show off his spectacular dancing skills. He did a quick dance, just a wonderful as his first solo, but now it was even more glamorous, because of his shiny fur.
Then, the moment we had called him for. It was all fun and games dancing and making things disappear, but he had to find Deuteronomy.
He got a large red sheet, and chose Cassandra to assist him. She was reluctant at first, but then went with it.
He covered her completely with the sheet, waved his hands over it, and with a flash of sparkles, he lifted the sheet up, revealing Deuteronomy!
"And we all say," I said slowly, as Deuteronomy turned to look at me. "Oh, well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?"
I motioned towards the little conjurer, who leapt into Deuteronomy's arms and started to lick his face, happy that his trick had work. Alonzo walked up behind him and gave him a nasty look, and Mistoffelees nodded and walked off for a moment. Then, he returned with Cassandra!
Mistoffelees bowed to her, and then they bowed to the whole tribe. They were taking it pretty well, finding out two of his secrets.
Mistoffelees did another spectacular dance, before he jumped up onto the old tire.
"I give you? I said to everyone. "The magical, the marvelous, Mr. Mistoffelees!"
Then, he really surprised us. He jumped up into the air, did a split, and disappeared in a flash of sparkles! He reappeared on the ground next to Alonzo, who thanked him for returning Cassandra.
Then, Jemima realized the sun was coming up.
"Daylight." She announced. Munkustrap smiled at Deuteronomy.
"Now," he said. "Old Deuteronomy, just before dawn, through a silence you feel you could cut with a knife, announces the cat who will now be reborn, and come back to a different Jellicle life."
We all crowded at his feet, begging to be chosen. Even I lay on the ground before him. I mean, who wouldn't want to know the wonder's of the Heaviside Layer?
He was about to chose, when old Grizabella stepped out of the shadows again. Mistoffelees stood and stalked up to her. After his tricks, he wasn't the shy kitten anymore. Now he was grown, and wasn't as accepting to her as the kittens were. He just glared at her and walked away.
I too strutted up to her. I just sneered at her, and held one hand towards Deuteronomy, showing her that she could go ahead and try to be chosen. I knew that she would be. She wasn't a Jellicle.
She started to sing a sad song about when she was young, and Deuteronomy listened quietly.
Soon, it was too much for Grizabella. She collapsed to the ground, unable to stand any longer, saddened by her memories. Then, Jemima stood up.
"Sunlight through the tree's in summer." She sang. "Endless masquerading. Like a flower as the dawn is breaking?
"…the memory is fading!" Grizabella finished. She stood up again, Jemima's beautiful voice had given her strength.
"Touch me!" she pleaded. "It's so easy to leave me all alone with the memory of my days in the sun. If you touch me you'll understand what happiness is." She looked up at the dawn. "Look, a new day has begun."
As she finished, Victoria slowly stood. She crept towards old Grizabella, and gently placed her hand in Grizabella's. The old cat smiled in gratitude, and soon the entire tribe was crowding her, wanting to touch her.
I accompanied Cassandra back into the center of the junkyard, because Alonzo was trying to touch Grizabella. Cassandra wasn't sure she wanted to, and neither was I.
After she had touched hands with all who wanted to, Deuteronomy bowed to her. She had been chosen.
He led her to stand on the old tire, which was the passageway to the Heaviside Layer. She had a smile as big as Etcetera's was after our date.
After she had gone to Heaviside, Deuteronomy sang one last song, before we left to go to out separate homes. On the way, Mistoffelees caught up to me.
"Hey, Tugger!" he called. "Can I walk with you?"
"Sure." I mumbled. We walked in silence for a moment.
"Tugger?" he said finally.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
ˇ@
The End!